Goodbye Nicole…getting that out of the way early.
I was reading an erotic fan fiction story last night and found, in the oddest place, exactly how I felt about myself. Below is the relevant section (Story link: My sister’s Ex-Girlfriend (arrow erotic Fan fic) – http://tv.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099134&chapter=1)
“No way, this is way too good.” Sara grinned in delight, and then after a pause in which she just stared at her sister the blonde added, “You know, Oli has always had many faults, but being bad in bed wasn’t ever one of them. So, if you couldn’t cum with him… chances are that you’re gay.”
“Please, say it a little louder.” Laurel grumbled.
Sara raised an eyebrow, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know?”
“I know, it’s just…” Laurel said before her shoulder slumped, “I feel so stupid.”
Sara frowned, “Why?”
There was a pause and then Laurel mumbled, “If I am… you know… gay, why did it take me so long to figure it out? Why did I throw myself at Oliver and Tommy, if they weren’t really what I wanted? Why do I feel this way? Why didn’t I feel this way sooner? God, none of this makes any sense!”
“Or, it makes perfect sense.” Sara said after a brief pause and then when her sister gave her a look she added, “You were always obsessed with being the good girl. Good girls aren’t gay. They go to college, get a respectable job, marry Prince Charming and have kids. So anything which didn’t fit with your perfect idea of yourself you repressed. Until I died. Then you completely lost it.”
“I wouldn’t say I completely lost it.” Laurel grumbled, “That makes me sound crazy.”
“You kind of were.” Sara insisted, then when Laurel gave her another look she quickly added, “Think about what we do. You honestly think we aren’t all a little crazy?”
There was another pause and then Laurel reluctantly agreed, “I guess.”
“I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” Sara smiled, “If anything, I think it helps the likes of us. It certainly helped you come out of your shell. You finally stopped trying to be the perfect good girl and embraced who you really are.”
Music: k,d, lang – If I Were You (You Tube – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNjSltrst4A) (Amazon MP3 – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001QUT97I/ref=dm_ws_tlw_trk1)
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